My Bad Health

Assalamuailaikum...

ok lame tk update... mainly busy.. btw happy new year and Selamat Pengantin Baru to my bro...

basically, i had no mood to work already... i dunno why...

fyp... done and submitted..

now my health... bleed here... bleed there... blood here... blood there.. and i dun really wat happen to me... and the best thing doctor in hospital also do not know... my salary finish @ NUH for two days... bt its okay, my health is important... i worry wether it is a major sickness or wat so ever such as cancer or wat...
tat wat's make me more worry...

ok till here...

to all muslim fren,
Man ingin meminta ampun dan maaf seandainya man pernah buat salah dan silap yg terlaluan... Maaf kn man k...?

gtg,
bye

Chicken and Cow.

One day, chicken and cow talks abt life...

Chicken: I think eh, human being always think of themselves.

Cow: Why you say so...?

Chicken: Yalah, I also want to have family in my life... Once I produce eggs, they take and eat.. I also want to see my child...

Cow: Hmm... My case is worst than u..

Chicken: Ah...! Serious?

Cow: Abeh..! They drink my milk but they never call me "Mum"...

What a bad day...?

yesterday kompang.. haiz...

damn bloody fed up.... the late-comers, the uninvited guy, the delay guy, not enough kompang, not enough batik, not enough safety pin, and everything all wants fast... Cbai sial... I fucking fed-up with all the guys and up to dem la even the girls too... malaz ah nk layan...

i keep myself to cool down and the keluaran was fine..

saw dear after keluaran, happy abit...

i tot after everyting nk gy tgok kuda, den need to stay for meeting... meeting... meeting... meeting.. *yawn*.. ok den wak furious abt bdk2 and me and kak rina kena scold... it is so UNFAIR to us... kak rina defend and i support from her back.. wak quiet... BINGIT sak... i lost my mood sia.. tot of gg home after dat, bt i met my dear.. mkn.. walk.. n home..

miss her alots...

till here bye....

BORNFIRE 2009

it is an yearly event where fire show involves.. I and Kakrina represents nayaga cimande with wayang aloes to perform.... N honestly, nothing to proud of la... cause there is music.. and we like acting playing the music.. so "waste time" la..

Kak zaty, tnx for ur support and food... kebuloh siol.. hehe

after tat, wait transport for transport and went home.. Cnt sleep till 3 am.. Dangdut~ing with along the whole night... padahal bsok got kompang sia.. okla jumpe lagi..

Hari Raya Haji

Salam..

REWIND!!!
Okla, Malam raya (Hari Raya Eve I work) sian siah.. no mood to work but i haf too.. but time past very fast till i didnt realize that it is already 12mn. So go home time.. went back, family members havent sleep.. so i mkn lontong which i missed my lunch and dinner earlier.. laugh2 den sleep..

HAri raYa hAjI...
Relax... visit grandparent father side and mother side... didnt eat much... haiz.. mlz ah.. went back and get call from Nazri.. gt sec sch gathering.. so i come down.. talk, joke, eat and many more la.. by 12am, i walked back home.. coz tomoro i got show.. so i belah la..

tat's it for this year hari raya haji...

2nd month..

firstly...

"Alhamdulilah..."

wat was planned go smoothly... Bt the thing does not smooth was, i LATE... promise meet at 1.30pm bt i reach 1.45pm.. sorry dear..

*fast forward*

queue for popcorn, im happy to see ira coz veteran ppl know wat to do.. I ordered popcorn, nugget and nacho for my dear.. Enter hall, havnt start.. *munch munch*
Movie start.. btw we watched 2012... Comment: okla, 3/5... storyline abit not logic and 3D modeling cant still see it fake... but effect SUPERB...!

*fast forward*

2.5hr of seating, wat u expect... sakit siol buntot.. hehe
proceed to airport for POPEYE

*fast forward*

the fish sandwich... it melts in ur mouth beb.. it is fresh and juicy dok... POWER..! Dear ate chicken "Maxi Meal" n half of my sandwich.. kesian dear, lapar..
Jln2, walk2 and go back home...

So, happy 2nd month for me and my dear Qu... hope u happy with me dear..
n not forgetting, thanx for ur gift from BATAM.. i really love it... hehe


till here..
WASSALAM

UPDATE...!

so what telah happen last week...?

I and my fyp members was doing shooting at Malay Village for Kuda kepang show... okla come on time but Wandi was not there... so, kill time by record the scene we need.. have their dinner and proceed to shooting.. After 12 years watching kuda kepang, this is the first time, i kena blow with water and flower by one of the dancer... SH!T sia... i was holding sch camera (lucky camera nvr kena water).. my hair and shirt wet with flower with it.. siah ah.. ok after tat interview wandi... tok2 until 12.. best missed train.. take cab back home from AMK.. almost $17... haiz..

sunday at home..
monday lazy, stay home...
Tues n wed, sch coz got UT..

and today work.. sian..!

Complain. complain. complain.
haiz.. fine.. den going home, was on the phone with Q and
"DUKE....!" my head hit the van.. fuh spinning siol... pain ah..

ok n tomoro.. is the day i waiting for...

WHAT HAPPEN TO ME?

basically, I dunno what happen to me? I keep thinking of sumthing which is not a good one.. y? and there is somebody is up in my mind now.. wat the !@#$... seriously. i dunno wat happen to me... now my mind is mixed up and my mood has been swing since yesterday... but Y?

wondering

back!

i had been busy for tis week... Yes, as i told morning sch nite work...
Tues, met syaa.. Lepak wif her since she was bored... I dun mind la kn... We share story... N i share my feeling abt my relationship... She said i can take it and just keep patience.. den i think back when i was otw to work.. Maybe, ya i give in too much to q... Bt how seh...?

Fri met q n all dikir girls... Ok after some time, i tot to go pasar mlm after send q home, bt she accompany me... So okla... Walk2, go mkn n home...

N one ting happen is, i keep thinking of someting which is i not suppose to think.. This is secret i cnt share anyone accept myself...

N now is monday... I had NOT been contacting Q since saturday.. So lets see till when will she contact me... But actually wat went wrong? I just feel we are just normal frend... If she remember me, she msg, if not she quiet... n i per normal, try to msg sometime reply sometime not.. So how? I alwayz understand her feeling n her family. Bt i dun tink she understand me... So? Should still give in or someting else...? Advise me... Call/sms me at 82589464...

TGIF...

after a week on waking up early and busy go school and work, this is the day i can get rest.. coz after sch i get back home or meet my love one or nyte jog again or rest at home aje..

btw my work for past 4 days was fun... mcm playing game... when 11:50pm, all starts counting down.. hehe... okla quite fun environment... the job also not that hard, just that i am not familiar with some road and event building... tat's where my stress come....

btw my love, Q, thanx for ur understanding dear... cnt wait for 20/11/09...

kk till here...

Wassalam

record in m life

harlow...
time check 5:34pm.. means I had 2 more hours to go work lata..

yes i had a job now.. customer service at Comfort.. alah answer booking call..

so what i had happen...? i think i had done very very very STUPID decision..
Coz i was attending my 3 days on job training and i left my kompang with nazri, and of coz nt forgeting q too.. yesterday, the worst I felt very bad coz naz msg me and give up on kompang.. i cant describe my feeling here.. bt then, i really bad.. NAZRI thnx bro... sampai salah urat.. hehe

ok, work...hmmmm so far ok la kan.. nothing much too describe..

what's in my mind...
- i dun really know wether i can manage with my new schedule..
-Mon- Thurs : Morning Sch, Night work
- Fri : Sch
- Sat n Sun: Kompang if have...
-N why i work, coz i dun want to ask money from my parent.. and oso if i want to go out with Q, i can use tat money..

-For now, I had this weird feeling... y? my Quwh la.. nowadays, when on phone, she like increasing her voice, no mood and angry tone... when i asked, "nothing..." i feel there is somting wrong ah.. but i dunno.. so far, i have not been on phone with her since Saturday.. i tink i just let it be je la.. If i ask, confirm she angry and say "nothing again.." so.. haiz...

kk till here.. bye..

20102009

Salam Sayang Semua...!!!
Harlow...!!

OK lar da quite long nvr update blog... busy la.. Wat makes me busy.. of coz skul la.. and many things happen for past month..

First,
on 23 Sept, I dpt adik baru... Muhd Hazreel...

Second,
on 27 Sept, Nenek warded in Hospital for a day

Third,
on 9 Oct, Iwan came back from London

Fourth,
on 13 Oct, first time in my life, i get to take AMBULANCE, send ATOK to hospital

Fifth,
on 15 Oct, Went for interview at Comfort.. I guess I get la eh..

Sixth,
on 17 Oct, Syaa... U ROCK!!!! thnx alot..

seventh,
on 20 Oct, which is today, Atok admitted to hospital again.. tis time is more serious.. I almost cry when i saw atok lying on bed... bt i control...

Im worried now...

and not forgetting, Happy 1st month to me n my lovely Quzaimah.... I planned to go out with her, but emergency appear.. so cancel.. nvm, still got other tyme...

kk till here.
Wasalam BYe
FBT OUT.......!

Selamat Hari Raya

ok images all uploaded at FACEBOOK.

Wat so special about this year HARI Raye is....

date: 20 - 09 - 2009

N one special thing happen to me la..

Not so special about raye this year:

Incomplete without IWAN...

About me,

After a month of misunderstanding, i finally solve it... and the best ting is I patch back wif Q!!!! on 20092009.. hehe

Love her lotz...

Wats in my mind now...

- Renting vehicle for hari raya.. after two days, i think rent van much better and cheaper coz only my family going to take tat... so tk pyh nk cerewet la kan..

- Baju raya...! 2 more weeks and it is not ready yet.. mintak mintak mak q bleh settle kn by next week la eh.. kalo tk mampos aku... haiz.. I just felt confused which side shud i go.. tkkn aku nk pakse suroh buat cpt2 kn? abeh aku tk tahu aper nk ckp ngan family aku pulak... serious ah.. Menyesal pun ade blang umi n ayah aku ader hubungan dgn q...

- now 1 week my holiday, and nothing to do.. i am looking for jobs online.. jenny my previous manager invite me to work back to cathay.. i dunno yet la.. shall i throw wat happen before and take this as new book? maybe..

- im going to cut my hair and dying it natural brown.. ok kan... i tot of dying white.. haha.. like MR KFC sia.. haha... ok skip

lastly in my mind, lets guess....





of coz la Q... hehe..
i asked her this morning: What should i do to proof my love?
she say: "Tabah dan sabar menunggu i... tabah dgn perangai i n karenah i (Patient waits for me... and understand her attitude...)"

rindu sesangat...

first of all, to all nayaga well done for last saturday show...

Next, q... her hand hurt coz of tiban... Haiz... When at first wak nin say we have two choice not to play tiban or play but take the risk, i was like... Ergh.. Tat sound danger.. I disagree n say not to play coz in my mind, my baby will get hurt after tat as her partner is not naz. Bt dunno somehow wak change his mind to continue playing... I like... Oh shit...! Im totally worried abt her... Wat i tot is true, her hand luke punye la panjang... N best ting my parent told me, if nt i oso dunno... I dunno wat to say to her la... Worry abt her, she like nothing happen.. However it is, im still love her la...

Skip

Okla.. today my third stay at home. BORING.. Sumpah dok... Haiz... N i really really really miz her la... Aku harapkn tgok gambar dier pat hp aku je utk lepaskn rindu... Haiz.. Ya allah, bukakn la hati quzaimah... Amin

I HATE IT...

Happy Holi~day to me... I am suppose to be happy tis holiday because I taught I got tat internship but I didnt get it... Really hurt... I hate people give me HOPE.....!!!!!!

so wat i had been doin for past 2 days?
- SLEEP
- FASTING
- Watch TV
- and DO nothing...

I really really really hate this... want to go out, dunno where to go and nobody accompany me.. serious shit man...

I really dont understand what happen to me... lost my relationship... lost my internship... and i get shit... haiz...

okla... all muslim happy fasting...

n Q, if u read this which i dun think she do,
I am really really miss and love u dear... i tggu sampai hati u terbuka... insyallah.. i believe tat..


Whats in my mind now...
- S$12,000
- Honda CVR, Chevrolet Captiva and Lexus RX
- Part time jobs
- thinking of losing weight BUT... 2012...
- Q

One after another

After almost a week of thinking about Q, i finally met up wif her.. So... Settle..! Im still wif her la... but will promise not tat active relationship....

Next problem, this is oso hurt me as i really wants this first for INCOME and also EXPERIENCE...

i got this from Zek Hazley:

Man,

I regret to inform you that you have not been selected for this round of IEP.

Seriously, wat happen to me sia....?! From one problem to another....!!!!

Ya Allah, Kau aje yang tahu ape aku rase sekarang....

confuse on my decision

new day means new day for me to solve my problem... I dunno wat q is thinkin, maybe she thinks it had been solve, but not for me...

I decide to meet kak zaty for advise honestly im still not stable... Met kak ty at yishun, n gt a call tat Q saw me n kak ty... Ok fine...

kak ty's advise me if i want, play game... Means in front of her parent, say we broke up but when at back, we are... Ok im thinking of tat... Bt i know q wont agree, she abit stuborn n nvr give in... After a while, abg wan n abg J came.

Abg wan's advise, i just forget her. Since she know her promises with her parent, why she having rltsp at first place.? Now she hurting someone... I think of tat, maybe abg wan is riTe oso...

When lepaking wif them n eating kuaci, i keep thinking... If i follow wat abg wan say, i dun haf the heart to do tat... If i follow kak ty, q wont agree...

Love is complicated. Life is hard. Any thing happen, decision is on my hand... Wat i can see, abg wan, abg J n kak ty really concern abt my relationship... I dunno why tis must happen?

I haf no conclusion yet, my pray is tat i can save my relationship n hope can meet q n haf a talk wif her... Amin

wats my feeling now...

Alrite... First of all, I am facing new thing in RP which EXAM... !@#$ 90mins, long sia... ok fine.. do-able... after that went CWP for breakfast + lunch... den went arcade.. thnx Felly, Dino, gareth, Faizal.. U guys cheer me up... My mood was fine after tat...

Accompany Dad to toa payoh... tat's where my bloody fucking bad mood come back.. Y..? my memories with Q was there... same place... I tahan... but i cant... Fetch mom and went CWP again.. I know my mood was still bad.. i feel like I'm Zombie walking at that CWP... Mkn at Banquet... I force myself not to msg her... when walking at level one, I tot i saw q at the escalator actually not her.. BUT when i turns towards KFC, i saw Q... my heart was like....*cant describe* She looks normal..like nothing happen.. FIne lar eh...

then at night i Called her.. she story la wat happen just now, her cat, her presentation but when my turns to talk... "hey, my mum call. I call u back.." Until now no msg from her.... AM I STUPID? seriously I DUNNO ah..

WHY?!

I received sms from Q at 11:34am

Q: "I wana sae sumthing. but i tktau u leh accept ke tk.. before i brk up dgn my exi da berjanji nt to hav any rltnship 4 d time.. bt i duno how things happentil both of us 2gether.. i just tak tahu. my family seem nt to accept u, deywan me ro jus be fren wit u.. nt more than dat. now i tak tau nk uatpe."

Me: "U wanna break up?"

Q: "tk tahu"

Me: "Y u decide to tell me today?"

Q: "I tknk u pkr yg my family dun like u"

Me: "I tk penah ckp pun yg family u tk suke i.. camner pun, i will try to win their heartkn..tapi kalo dorg btol btol btol btol da tk suke.. i cnt say anything..

Q: "Dey wan me to jus fren wif u"

Me: "Im just too weak now.. I just feel i lost everything.. give me time to think.."

At 1pm...

Q sms me and say: "till here our relationship.. thnx 4 everything.. ur love n care.. we stil cn b frens.k tc N im sorry 4 hurting u"

seriously, my heart.... cnt describe... i cnt think anything right now... i damn super weak... i just my world is dark rite now... no light...